Humanstuck: Original, Right?
by Kankri The Insufferable
Summary: Another Homestuck fanfiction about winning the game with dire consequenses, retarded authors and yeah you'll prolly get some romance. Don't own HS! So many pairings to choose from so not sure who with who yet!
1. Lame Prologue

**Humanstuck: Original, Right?**

**Intro Thingy That You Really Don't Need But Reads Anyways**

I thought everything was going to be alright. I thought that when the game was over that everything was going to be alright and that we'd all get a break. My thoughts were only something that dreaming and miracles could come up with. How could I even think anything could ever go back to normal? How could things get so out of hand and so weird? How did the game get so out of control that it was difficult for us to see through what was reality and what was dream?

**Read more of the prologue type thing**

It really all just started with the prize. After defeating Jack Nior we were presented with our prize. It was a sort of option B option A type of thing. They both pretty much had their own little catch, but it was deciding which one we wanted.

Option A was going back to the way things were before the world was doomed. To the lives we lived before we ever started playing or even heard about Sburb. But that would mean we would forget everything... and we would lose some of our new friends, the trolls. We wouldn't remember a damned thing about them. We would also cancel out any sort of paradox we had in the game. Dirk, Jake, Jane and Roxy would all cease to exist in their time lines and return to a normal one in ours. But hey... at least everyone would be alive.

And then there was Option B. It was a sort of weird option, actually. Well weird in a kind of cool way. The trolls could live on the pre-game Earth with us as humans. But of course we still wouldn't remember a thing about the game or even know who they were if we saw them... And then there was the other way around with the humans going to live on their planet as trolls. That option did sound pretty cool... but then again I would totally forget about Nic Cage, and we cannot have that happening around here.

But this was going to be a group decision, a sort of democracy sort of vote. The answer was going to have to be unanimous.

**Start lame fanfiction**

You are now actually starting this lame fanfic written by an author who is more comfortable writing Percy Jackson fanfiction instead of stuff like Homestuck. But we're not looking for comfort when coming across entertainment. So you just deal with the pain in the ass this whole trial and error thing that this is going to be.

But oh well, you suck it up and set to typing all this drama action friendship romance shit out. Yes, you just have to have romance don't you? You won't write a damned fic with out it. It's like your apple juice... your Nic Cage... your mother fucking Faygo.

Man you sure are wondering when this author is gonna actually stop her nonsense rambling and actually write something that has to do with the awesome plot mentioned above in a sort of prelude type of way.

**Attempt at making an awesome arrow thingy ==**

Since even trying to attempt at making one of those arrow thingys Hussie used is useless and you'll just be stuck with something that looks like '==' and you're already as lame as it gets so you decided not to look terribly lame on your Homestuck fanfic account because does not even let you get anywhere close to letting you type one of those cool arrow thingys or even those star thingys. So you use a lame . . . to signal some sort of transition.

**Start something**

So you finally decide to start something... well actually no you don't. You decide to tell your readers how this fanfiction is going to be written because this shit is going to get kind of confusing. You tell them that with each chapter it's going to start off with text talking like this as seen in the original Homestuck and then you're going to write it out like you do any normal fanfiction.

You're also going to tell them the pairing you're going to put in here. You know, like, Dave x Terezi and Vriska x John and probably some other shit that you can't really seem to think about right now because you just want to get this done and post it. But you know it will be mainly Vriska and John because you just love them to pieces and there's not enough love for the out there.

**Stare with a dopy grin**

And now that lame intro is done and over with you're finally free to write actual chapters about awesome stuff that's just too awesome to speak about because you're just staring at your screen with this dopy grin on your face sipping that crappy soda you never heard about because until you started reading Homestuck but because Gamzee drinks this shit you just have to so that you're cool. You even pretend that you're actually drinking miracles. No you know you are drinking miracles. Don't let anyone ever fool you into thinking that you're not.

But you're just staring at that screen waiting... waiting for you to end this shit already.

**A/N: **Alright! So my first HS fic ever in the life of ever that I have written. Man, if Hussie did one thing, it was make my language as foul as a pirate C: I tried catching all the typos and weird writing phrases that might have snuck out from my brain but sorry if you do see some.

Thank you for reading!

Until Next Chapter!

~1RON1C4LLYred


	2. Start the first chapter

**Start the first chapter**

Instead of being the annoying author, you are now some other kid. He's just about to turn thirteen and he's really excited! Since you've already read this comic that this fanfiction is based off of then you should be able to remember which kid I'm even talking about. Unless of course you're too much into Homestuck and you're just concentrating on remembering Jake's name along with Dirk because you know the make sure a great couple and now all you draw is fan art for this amazing pairing that Hussie has put deep into your brain.

**Enter name**

John Egderp

Well that was close enough… I guess.

**Enter correct name**

John Egbert

There we go; your memory is getting better with each letter I type.

So you are now John Egderp… I mean Egbert! You're already very familiar with this boy's interests and what covers his walls so why bother having to go and copy and paste stuff from the original comic?

**==)**

You are now currently getting ready for school while chatting with your best bro. He's talking about all the weird dreams he had over the summer. It's really just another recap because he seems to want to remind you nearly every day of your life.

You also have these weird dreams but you rather not talk about them. They're all really quite disturbing and you think that if you shared any of this knowledge with anyone they would mark you as crazy.

Although… Dave does have weird ass dreams that should probably deem him crazy. But you know he's too cool to be crazy.

So.

So.

Cool.

**. . .**

**Open PesterLog**

**TG:** and then I saw my dead bro

**GT:** how did you feel about that?

**TG:** you know, I was actually relieved about it

**TG:** the weird thing is I even remember saying that to someone

**TG:** a girl

**TG:** she typed weird too

**TG:** I see her chatting with me a lot in my dreams

**GT:** ohoo! Looks like dave has himself a little dream girl!

**TG:** shut up

**TG:** no i don't

**TG:** it's not like that...

**TG:** at least i don't think it was

**TG:** in my stupid dream i mean

**TG:** just a stupid dream john, she's probably not even real

**GT:** maybe you are some sort of prophet and you are just seeing the future. perhaps your bro is going to die in the future?

**TG:** stop saying stupid things

**TG:** these dreams are defiantly not some sort of future thing

**TG:** just retarded lucid dreams that have been haunting me ever since i turned 13

**GT:** i know i know, you've already told me :B i have to finish getting ready for school.

**GT:** see you later!

**- – GhostyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] - -**

I quickly ran down the stairs to be greeted by the smell of cake. I nearly choke at the smell of it and quickly cover up my nose with my sleeve.

Normally I really do love to eat cake, but lately dad seems to have been making them.

Every morning.

For the past three months.

Of all the cake he has baked lately was in celebration to my birthday. He's been making high piles of the stuff in the kitchen. Does he even expect me to eat so much cake? That was probably utterly impossible! I was surprised he can even stand to be near it anymore!

I shuddered and checked the time on my watch. I quickly ran, grabbed my bag and sprinted out the door. Looks like I can just skip breakfast today. Maybe catch something from the school cafeteria.

The bus pulled up just as I arrived at the stop. I swiftly hopped on and found my seat in the back near my good friend.

"Good morning John!" She greeted with a happy grin.

"'Morning Jade," I smiled a bit back, her happiness immediately spreading to me.

"Happy birthday! You're finally a big boy now." She giggled.

I laughed. "I sure am! Does it show much?" I asked.

She seemed to look me up and down with a quick nod. "You look like you're ready for a quest!"

"A quest? That's an odd way to put it?" I said, furrowing my brow up.

She giggled some more. "That was a bit of a wink wink nudge nudge hint."

"Um... okay?"

We sat quietly after that, listening to Jade's iPod. I even started dozing off...

**A/N:** Mer, short :I It was because of author reasons... DON'T QUESTION ME!

Anyways, GT because... you know... if the trolls are non-existant (as aliens anyways) then they don't really troll the kids so John has no reason to change his name...

BUT YEAH!

Thank you for reading!

Until next chapter!

-1RON1C4LLYred


	3. You are now the other boy

**You are now the other boy**

You name is Karkat Vantas and you are sitting in the school cafeteria with a few of your friends. The food is shit and you don't even know why you bother even trying to eat it.

You and your friends are new to the school. It was quite an odd coincidence that all of you moved... at the same time... and moved to the same place.

But you don't think much on that, just grateful to have someone you already know to talk to. Not like you'd tell them that. You'd want to fucking die if they knew! Shit you really don't care that they're here, why would you even reveal such information?

**. . .**

"My old school had better food than this." Vriska complained. She sat there poking a sausage patty with a plastic fork. "We had _real _meat and fruit salad bars." She sighed and shoved the plate away.

"Then why don't you just go back to your old school," I growled, tempting a bite at what the school considered a sausage biscuit. The second it hit my taste buds I spit the horrible thing out all over Terezi.

"Karkat!" She screamed with a glare in my direction.

Gamzee just sort of giggled as he kept cutting his pieces of paper into hearts.

"That shit was nasty!" I cried throwing the biscuit down onto my tray in disgust. "Fuck I need something to wash it out with." I quickly grabbed the orange juice box I had got with my breakfast and tried to wash down the horrible after taste the damn thing left behind. BUT THE JUICE WAS EVEN SHITTIER! "Gog dammit!" I screamed and threw the box down, causing some of its juices to fly straight the person sitting in front of me.

"AAAAH!" She screamed and threw a sausage patty at me, hitting me in the forehead. "What the hell Karkat?" Terezi got up and stormed to the bathroom. "I'm going to wash this shit off. I'll be right back."

"Oh nice!" Vriska howled, laughing so hard tears were coming from her eyes. The color a bit more blue than it should be.

I quickly looked around and thrusted a napkin at her. "Wipe your eyes dip shit." I used my own napkin to get the patty off and remove the grease it left on my forehead.

She ignored the napkin. "It's not like anyone's looking at my eyes and anticipating something unnatural." She said, still smiling wildly.

"Guys, check out these wicked butterflies I made," Gamzee said with a lazy smile on his face. He laid out an array of colored paper out before him. He had cut out at least twenty hearts.

"Gamzee, those are hearts." I picked one up and ripped it in half.

"My butterfly," Gamzee frowned. "You broke my butterfly."

"They're fucking hearts, not butterflies."

He sniffed. "You broke my heart."

I rolled my eyes and sat the ripped paper down in front of him.

"It's okay little heart," He muttered to it, bringing up the paper close to his face. "I shall forever cherish your memory."

"These look pretty," Terezi said as she returned to her original seat, taking a red heart into her hands.

"How do you know what it looks like, you're fucking blind."

She licked the paper with a wide grin plastered on her face. "I see with smells and tastes. Red tastes the best."

"How the fuck do you even do that?" I asked, looking at her a bit oddly.

"Magic," She cooed, setting the heart down. "I'm going to keep this one Gamzee."

"Sure thing sis,"

"Oh lemme see this one." Vriska said while snatching up a bright green one. "Ouch." She sneered, looking at a newly formed cut from the paper.

The blood was blue. But not a rich blue. It was a bit paler than that, like a dark sky blue.

**Be the other boy**

You now switch to that boy.

What was his name again? Oh right!

John!

Yeah, he was falling asleep the last time we saw him...

**. . .**

I was having one of those dreams again.

They were less constant than this. They used to only come once every three months. And this one was the second one in a row in one day.

But this dream wasn't one of the bloodier ones. This one was simple; I would have disregarded it as even categorizing it as _one of those dreams_ but the way it felt. The way I could the wind brush against every pore of my body. The way the sun beamed the way it did when I was awake, and the way the voices I heard felt like as if I was actually talking to them. As if the dream wasn't a dream but more as to where I was living real life.

But I knew better. It was a dream.

It had to be.

Because everything seemed so perfect yet so surreal. And there was a girl. And her name was Vriska, or so she had told me.

**John: Wake up**

You wake up; startled by the ringing bell signaling that you should be heading down to class.

Your friend Jade has been sitting with you this entire time, waiting for you to wake up.

**. . .**

"Finally awake now are you sleep head?" Jade asked. We were sitting in the cafeteria.

That's when I saw her, you know like in those fairy tales and what not.

It was _her_. From my dream… but not gray. And she didn't have horns… but she looked exactly _like the alien girl from my dreams_. Except instead of being the alien from Alternia she claimed to be, she was a human… bleeding blue?

I blinked a few times, but the next I saw she had a blue band aid wrapped around her finger.

**A/N:** Lots of switching from Homestuck style to a normal writing style. Sorry about that! Hoep you enjoyed anyways! And lots of dialogue...

Though I really did have fun with Gamzee :D

Thank you for reading!

Until next chapter!

~1RON1C4LLYred


	4. Bandage Wound

**Bandage wound**

Your friend quickly retrieves a band aid from your bag matching the color of blood that oozed out.

You keep that color in there in case of incidences like this. Any normal band aid would reveal the UNNATURAL COLOR of your blood, and you wouldn't want that. You have no idea why it is this color, along with your other three 'friends'. It's always been that way and you try your hardest not to let anyone besides your 'friends' see the color.

**. . .**

"Do you think anyone saw that?" Karkat asked while looking around the room a bit frantically. It had a couple more people in it on the other side. One of them was a boy who had been asleep earlier but was now staring at me with this weird look.

I quickly looked away from him, he probably saw the blood. But I doubt from that distance he knew what it was, even with those big dorky glasses. "I don't think anyone saw Karkat, cool your tits."

"It's not my fault you guys are freak." He growled, looking at all of us.

"And what? You're noooooooot?" I asked him, leaning over the table.

He scrunched back. "Get your ugly face away spider bitch. My blood is none of your business."

"Well you're allowed to know ours but we're not allowed to know yours? What's the mystery?" I pulled away from him. "Or maybe it's just normal like everyone else's and you're just too afraid to admit it."

"Why would I be afraid to admit some shit like that? Why would I want to be a freak like you guys?"

"C'mon Karkles, you know deep down that you wish your blood was like ours," Terezi grinned at him.

"It _is _different like yours. Just not so fucking abnormal. Why are we even talking about this anyways?" He asked, eyes darting to the ground.

After a few minutes of staring at Karkat the bell decided to ring. Relieving us from whatever awkward silence that had come upon us.

**Stop staring at the girl**

What? You were staring? ! Oh god you really hope she didn't notice.

**. . .**

I quickly turned to see that Dave had joined us. He was also staring at the table that I had just finished 'staring' at.

"When did you get here?" I ask him, pitting up my bag and slinging it over one of my shoulders and adjusting the long strap that ran across my torso.

"I've been here." He said looking at me, his nearly white hair (or maybe it is white, perhaps just so white that it looks blond? Fuck if you knew) dropping close to his shades. Those ironic shades that I gave him that he never seems to be without. Actually, now that I think about it I've never really seen him without a pair of shades off. I wonder what his eyes look like. "Happy birthday bro, I have your present at home to bring to your party later."

"Oh hi there Rose!" I grinned looking at yet another of my close friends. She was seated on the other side of the table next to Jade.

"Hello John, Happy birthday." She gave a small smile and looked back down to the book lying in her hands.

I stood up along with Jade. "I'm gonna get to class." I glanced back at the table that had fairy tale girl to see that they all had left. Dave was also staring. "C'mon _bro,_"I paused and waited for him to turn his head towards me. "Let's get going." I grinned.

He shrugged and got up, grabbing his bag and slinging it on his back.

"Are you coming Rose?" I asked, looking at my other almost white haired-blond friend.

"I'm waiting for someone," She said without looking up. "You guys go on ahead without me."

"Um… okay." And with that we all left to the one class that we all shared together.

**Switch again to a different boy with ironic shades on**

You are now the cool kid. Which is kind of unbelievable and you can hardly handle it because he is so cool.

You are currently on your way to the cafeteria where you encounter a very familiar and not so familiar BLIND GIRL.

**. . .**

A girl had stopped directly in front of me kinda of looking at me and then kind of looking off to the side as if she wasn't really seeing you. She had this wicked grin on that you knew was familiar.

"You smell oddly familiar… Mr. Strider." She said, her grin growing with every word.

"Terezi," I said, shrugging. As if the fact that the girl who bothered me in my dreams wasn't standing in front of me. Or as if the fact that she looked completely normal (aside from the abnormally sharp teeth) while in your dreams she always had horns and gray skin. As if these fact didn't bother you in any sort of way.

She leaned in closer, sniffing my sunglasses. "Very familiar indeed." She looked at me through her shades, almost as if she could really see me. Though I did know for a fact that the troll- I mean _girl _couldn't see shit. Though I do remember her saying something about smelling and tasting colors. Remembering this I should have seen what was coming.

A disgusting, slimy lick to the face.

I tried not to let it faze me on the outside, though I could not help it when my face cringed and scooted away from hers.

"Yup!" She exclaimed, backing away from me. "Dave Strider. I remember you, you infest my dream bubbles."

"Dream bubbles?" I asked, quirking up an eyebrow.

She looked at me as if I was the most stupidest person to ever live. "Are you kidding me? You've been lingering in my bubbles and you don't even know what you're doing?"

I gave a shrug.

Terezi cackled. "Too cool to know things, Strider?" She asked, raising on of her black eye brows. "Dream bubbles are memories," She paused and stared at me for a few seconds. "And that's all I know!" She shrugged and started twirling her cane. "Well I'll have to go now Dave, I'll have another chat with you later!" And with that Terezi was off in the general direction of the lunch room.

I stared after her a bit and then headed towards my locker to grab my school bag.

**A/N: **This chapter was supposed to have more in it... but I feel as if I were to add it in it wouldn't just fit with the chapter.. .

Thank you for reading!

Until next chapter!

~1RON1C4LLYred


	5. Start Class

**A/N: **I was so angry with myself when I read over the outline and how it didn't match up with the chapter I just posted... no WONDER it was so short! D: Yeah I just screwed up all this shit... UGH TO A NEW PLOTLINE AWAAAAAAAAY!

**Start class**

You are yet again, John Egbert. But of course you are John Egbert because he's the main character. Why wouldn't you be Egderp? Why would you even STOP being John? Why kind of blasphemy would that be?

Anyways, you're about to start class. You're sitting in the front row next to your best bro Dave. Your other best friend Jade is sitting behind you. But you are still waiting for Rose to arrive.

**Wonder what's taking her**

You wonder why Rose is taking so long to get to class. Who on Earth could she have been waiting for? Who would matter so much that she might almost miss class upon waiting for that person?

**Stop wondering and watch the door**

You stop wondering and stare at that door. It's a nice door... so nice...

Actually you're staring at that ERASER SITTING AT THE TOP, where it's cracked just a bit. You think it's one of the best tricks in the books. So amateurish that it's pretty top notch.

**. . .**

I smiled stupidly at the door, waiting for the bell to ring so that the teacher could come and then BAM! Bombarded by lovely eraser dust.

But... wait a minute.

Rose still hasn't entered the class room... oh man. It's so very likely that the eraser will hit her instead of the teacher! But then again... Rose should be smart enough by now to _know _that I set up a trap like that! Maybe she'll wait until the teacher goes through the door and be late.

**Watch in horror as the door opens**

The door slowly opens and...

**. . . **

The opens and a red haired boy walks through. I'd never seen him around before. Was he new?

"WHAT THE FUCK? !" He screamed and picked up the eraser that had bounced off of his head. His green eyes found mine and he shot the most scariest glare a person to ever _ever _shoot.

I gulped.

"Oh my _fucking _gog! Who the hell thought it was such a wonderful idea to set a FUCKING eraser on top of THE FUCKING DOOR? Who in the right mind thought it was such a HILARIOUS PRANK TO PULL?" He threw the eraser at the chalk board. "OH HAH FUCKING HA! YOU FUCKING GOT THE NEW KID!"

"Karkat, caaaaaaaalm down," The fairy tale girl walked in smoothly behind him, setting her hand on his shoulder.

"Don't you DARE tell ME to calm DOWN! I WON'T FUCKING CALM DOWN! Some IDIOT thought it would be FUCKING HILARIOUS to set a FUCKING ERASER ON TOP OF THE DOOR FOR ANY POOR MOTHER FUCKER TO WALTZ UNDER!"

"Chill pale bro, it's alright, you can just brush it off." A tall lanky kid walked in. His hair was dark brown and looked like a mop.

"You can't just simply brush this shit off Gamzee." He growled, though was a bit more calm. "It's fucking sticks to your shirt like it's the mother fucking shit to be."

The second the bell rang, Rose strode in followed by the teacher. He gave the door a nice slam and called out, "Everyone take your ASSIGNED seats!"

Rose quickly took her seat a few seats behind Jade. I looked back at her and whispered, "Cutting it a bit close, eh?"

She just shrugged and fixed her tilted hair band.

Mr. Carter looked over at the new kids and noticed the red haired guy's sweater was all covered in chalk powder. He looked back at me with a raised eye brow.

"John, did you really have to prank the new kids?"

I just smiled sheepishly and shrugged my shoulders.

"You did this?" The red head screamed and shoved Gamzee and fairy girl out of the way. "Who in fucks sake do you think you are? Parading around and ruining people FUCKING SHIRTS? !"

"Um... uh... sorry... it was meant for Mr. Carter..." I looked away from his glare.

"Well OBVIOUSLY that wasn't planned fucking right you dip shit."

"LANGUAGE." Mr. Carter called to the red head. "Geez, it's not like I'm _not _standing right here you know!"

He turned around and looked at the teacher. "Sorry," He growled snidley.

"Now are you four the new kids I was getting?" He asked. "Karkat, Vriska, Gamzee and Terezi? Trouble makers kicked out from your old school?"

"That's us!" Fairy girl and the black haired girl next to her said.

"Um... which is which?" He asked, grabbing a clip board from his desk. "I'll give you your seats."

"I'm Terezi," The girl with the cane and red glasses said, stepping forward. "Pyrope. Terezi Pyrope."

Mr. Carter mumbled and 'alright' while writing something down on his clip board, probably her name. He pointed out a seat for her but she didn't follow the hand's direction.

"Mr. Carter... you _do _know that I am blind... right?" She asked, inching closely to him. "Which mean I can't _see _anything."

"Oh um... okay... uh... don't they have special school for uh..." He looked around the class a bit hopeless.

"Yo Terezi, over here. There's an empty seat net to me." Dave called out.

She quickly took the seat with a wicked grin. "Oh, nice you smell you again Mr. Strider."

"I'm Vriska," Fairy girl said. "Vriska Serket," She smiled in a bit of villanessly way.

**Go through intros in a more faster way**

Because taking seats and writing stuff in clip boards down you are now going to just speed along through this until you reach something more interesting... Though you do take the time to note that the four new kids that just entered the class room are TEREZI PYROPE, VRISKA SERKET, KARKAT VANTAS and GAMZEE MAKARA and you find it a BIT STRANGE for them to all appear on the same day in the same classroom LIKE IT'S SOME SORT OF COINCIDENCE.

Actually, you know what... Let's just go off AND BE SOMEONE ELSE FOR NOW. Who shall you be...

**Go off and be someone else**

**A/N:** Feeling lazy but wanted to update with something so I give you this FILLER and OOC Karkat? Also the reason Gamzee says 'pale bro' as in a sort of Troll term is because the dude WAS a troll so some words just linger. They may not know what it means but it just sort of feels right to say it... yeeeaaaaah

Thank you for reading!

Until next chapter!

~1RON1C4LLYred


End file.
